Ask Amy: Dating Apps Beget “situationship”

Dear Amy: I was in an exclusive monogamous relationship with a man for eight months and, unfortunately, I kept catching him using dating apps, even after I had drawn a hard boundary about it. He also lied to me about substance abuse (he was in AA for years but kept falling off the wagon). He told me he was a social drinker and was just taking a break from alcohol for health and fitness reasons. He would go dark and fall out of communication and then deflect onto me when I would ask him why. So finally, after a week of him being particularly inconsiderate and insensitive, I broke off our relationship. I did so with honor and said goodbye to his friends and family and spoke not one unkind word about him to anybody. Now he wants to go in for couples counseling, even though when I was with him, he refused to listen to me about even the simplest thing, like deleting his dating apps. I don’t know why he wants to go to counseling now that he has completely repelled me. I don’t even know how I feel about this anymore. A part of me really loves him still, but a part of me doesn’t trust the relationship (or our “situationship”), since he kept a whole separate list of rules for himself than he did for me. I’d really like your take on this. Related Articles Ask Amy: Caregiving spouse is overwhelmed Ask Amy: Uber dispute becomes uber permanent Ask Amy: Woman should leave abusive relationship Ask Amy: Trauma survivor worries about a deep dive Ask Amy: Roommate feels litter-boxed in — Curious Dear Curious: I agree with you that deleting needs to happen.