Dear Amy: Since last year, I’ve been asking my wife to take a different approach to the holidays, and to just focus on our small immediate family. Every single year, without fail, there’s some major disappointment, family conflict or travel debacle, typically with her extended family. She walks away exhausted, angry, frustrated or hurt. Last year, she said she was “done” after a big fight between her aunt and cousin that got very heated. She says that she does not want them around, but she feels obligated to host these big family holiday parties, because otherwise, they would not see each other. My wife finally said she was not going to host this year.