Dear Amy: Last summer, my 10-year-old son learned a racial epithet (the “n word”) from listening to his favorite music and watching his favorite basketball videos. When we discovered that he had been listening to music with that word, we asked him to find clean versions. Although he is 10, he has the social maturity of a younger child. Our son was confused (and still is) about the fact that it’s a bad word when he says it, but a cool, fun word when others do (in videos, music, on the basketball court, and on the street). He said the word in school and hurt a classmate’s feelings.