Ted Hickman is, at the moment, vice mayor of Dixon, California, a small city about 30 minutes outside Sacramento. He’s straight, he’s proud, and he wants the world to know it, according to a snarky newspaper piece he wrote in the town paper, the Independent Voice, in which he objected to a nearby college’s announcement that it would, like the rest of the world, mark June as LGBT Pride Month. “Now hundreds of millions of the rest of us can celebrate our month, peaking on July 4th as healthy, heterosexual, fairly monogamous, keep our kinky stuff to ourselves, Americans,” the 74-year-old Hickman wrote in his regular Voice column.