Dad’s rough horseplay looks a lot like abuse Dear Abby: I am a grandmother and great-grandmother who is concerned about the behavior of my grandson toward his 7-year-old daughter, “Beth,” and her 9-year-old cousin, “Mandy.” When Mandy recently visited me, she told me her uncle crept up behind her, put his hand over her mouth and then held her nose so she couldn’t breathe. If she can’t manage that, then any child in the home should be living elsewhere. Dear Abby: I’m the father of three beautiful, healthy children, with another due very soon. While you might request a second medical opinion, I strongly advise against dragging your mother into this disagreement because if you do, it will cause resentment not only against you, but also your mother. If I give the couple money as a wedding gift, whose name should go on the check first, the bride’s or the groom’s? If your granddaughter and her fiance intend to have separate checking accounts, put her name on the check. [...] if they will be opening a joint account after the wedding, it would make sense to put both of their names on it, and the order in which you list the names is whichever you prefer.