Comment on Ask Amy: A father ponders parental possibilities

Dear Amy: I have an issue that I need to bring to you. I always felt that my daughter, “Carol” (from my first marriage) isn’t really “mine.” She was the product of a wife that cheated on me, and although my wife always swore that she was mine, I find that highly unlikely. I feel that Carol knows this, but we are both uncomfortable about bringing that up. I was involved in her upbringing and accepted her as mine in her earlier years, but we just grew apart. I see her on Facebook from time to time and although she is now a grandmother, she seems unhappy — in a hidden way. Her mother died 20 years ago. I think I have located her reluctant, biological father, but I don’t know if I should get involved because she may shun him, or she may be hurt because it’s been 50 years, now. A DNA test will be the proof and I am scared that (1) this whole thing will be about a father that doesn’t want her (2) I may freak out and find that after 50 years she was mine all along. I wouldn’t want her to hate both men involved. It could also lead to an unlikely happy ending. Related Articles Ask Amy: A grieving human might look over the rainbow Ask Amy: Teen struggles with besting her “bestie” Ask Amy: Long-term grudge earns a penalty for “holding” Ask Amy: Pandemic experience calls for resilience Ask Amy: Friend worries about pandemic’s toxic effect How should I approach this? — Caught Dear Caught: One way to begin would be to try your hardest to build a relationship with your daughter.