You’re not their “real” mom. As a stepmother, you know this. In fact, it’s painfully clear more often than not. No matter how many times you’ve made a pact with yourself to “let it go,” you keep coming back for more. You keep coming back because you made a commitment to this child or children who call you “stepmom.” You’ve loved them, held them, talked to them, played with them, made meals for them, worried about them, and so on. I wrote a post a while ago called, “Why It’s OK To Love Your Stepchildren Like Your Own And What That Really Means.” What I tried to convey with that piece is that you need to think about what loving a stepchild like they are your own means to you personally.