Onion Poll: Should We Let Immigrant Children Who Crossed The U.s. Border Stay In America?

Donald is sad! "Where my peeps?" he wants to know. "As The New York Times puts it, the former president is not getting the circus he wanted," Mika Brzezinski said. "The paper reports there were only a handful of Trump supporters outside yesterday morning, and they were outnumbered by the Trump detractors, who had signs about his alleged affair with an adult film actress.

Jimmy Kimmel had a, um, blast last night with the stories about Smelly Trump. Via HuffPost: Kimmel showed how the reports caused “ODOR IN THE COURT” and #TrumpStinks to trend on X. The late-night host had a little fun of his own, altering the courtroom sketches to show the jury with gas masks and creating videos in which Trump’s speeches are interrupted by flatulence. Kimmel also begged people not to share them online since the reports are unconfirmed. “There’s no way to prove Donald Trump was the one who dealt it, so please don’t repost this video with a dumb caption like ‘Julius Squeezer’ or ‘The Shart Of The Deal’ or ‘You Have The Right To Remain Silent But Deadly’ because we don’t know if any of this is true,” he said. read more

Newt Gingrich, who is famously a Catholic convert, has some very strange ideas regarding the commandment about lying. But then, he lied just as enthusiastically back when he was a Baptist, so there you go. He's just a liar by nature! Via Media Matters: NEWT GINGRICH (GUEST): Let me tell you, I am deeply worried that tomorrow, a totally corrupt judge and a totally corrupt district attorney are going to try to put a former president of the United States, candidate of his party, and front-runner in the polls in jail.

Donald Trump was doing his typical accordion hands as if he were in marketing, trying to sell something. Well, he is trying to sell something, but it smells like bullshit. I was going to say that it smells like his farts, but that wouldn't be very classy of me. It appears that Donald's Pecker has a lot to say on the stand right now because Trump looks nervous.

The "Stop Murdering People" Edition Historical context from Popular Information. Caitlin Johnson: "Israel Is Turning Hospitals Into Mass Graves While The West Fixates On ‘Antisemitism’" Jamie O. at First Draft on Columbia doing the right's bidding. Sanctions? Dragon-King Wangchuck is suspicious. Somewhat lighter bonus from Yellowdog Granny. By M. Bouffant. Submissions to mbru@crooksandliars.com will be considered. read more

Never mind that Trump was the one responsible for holding up the aid for months in the first place. Now lickspittle Lindsey Graham wants to give him credit for it finally passing. Sadly it looks like the evangelicals were the ones that pushed Johnson to finally put the bill up for a vote, not Trump. Here's Graham responding to his fellow Senator JD Vance's criticism of the bill on this weekend's Fox News Sunday: GRAHAM: So this idea, give up on Ukraine, makes the world safer, if you pull the plug on Ukraine because you don't have enough capability, there goes Taiwan.