Christmas isn't just a time to fantasize about going Zero Dark Thirty on a bunch of elves—it's also a chance to show your friends and family how much you care about them by spoiling them with gifts. The problem is that you're bad at it. You either get them something they'll forget about and leave in a closet somewhere for years, only to rediscover it later in life when they're finally moving out of that run-down apartment and getting a place in the burbs.