It’s been 15 years since we last saw Vin Diesel in xXx as thrillseeker/secret agent/big-coat-wearer Xander Cage and, since then, the series has matured very little. xXx: Return of Xander Cage lobs out one ludicrous set piece after another, giving you very little time to think about the nonsense you’re seeing onscreen, which is a good thing because the film seems like it was written by a child. The thing is: that child is best friends with Vin Diesel, so it’s kind of okay. According to 2005 sequel xXx: State of the Union, Xander Cage was killed in an explosive attack, but in this sort-of threequel, he is very much alive, with no real explanation as to why.