Sharks attacked 98 people worldwide in 2015, outstripping the previous record of 88 attacks in the year 2000. What do you think?
The French government has made it illegal for stores to throw out unsold food before its expiration date, requiring them to donate to food banks and shelters instead. What do you think?
ESTES PARK, CO—Following their 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, the Denver Broncos held a championship parade Tuesday through an icy and treacherous stretch of the Rocky Mountains.
With the New Hampshire primary election Tuesday poised to impact the course of the 2016 presidential race, The Onion examines what’s at stake for the candidates: Marco Rubio: Can establish himself as the GOP frontrunner by pulling off a resounding third-place sweep of the nation’s early primary statesBernie Sanders: A big win in New Hampshire would show doubters that 40 years spent relentlessly championing progressive causes can pay off in a state adjacent to one’s own
WASHINGTON—In an effort to ensure all Americans receive a zesty kick, the Food and Drug Administration officially recommended Tuesday adding a little Tabasco to that bad boy.
In order to remove old, defunct bridges from the site and lay foundation for new ones, the state of New York will use a process called dewatering to briefly halt the flow of Niagara Falls, a relatively simple procedure that is projected to cost $3 million.
WESTERVILLE, OH—Repeatedly glancing away from the television while the rest of his family excitedly watched the game, local father Doug Bryant reportedly spent most of the Super Bowl 50 broadcast Sunday looking regretfully at his 17-year-old son, Alex, who was never allowed to play football.
SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.
Here are The Onion’s tips for how to make the most of your college semester abroad:Do some advance research to figure out which program is right for you. Europe is generally life-changing, whereas South America tends to be more eye-opening.Before choosing, carefully consider those countries your friends say are most fun versus those your other friends say are most fun.To avoid homesickness, pack at least one close relative.
CHICAGO—Taking note of the man’s beat-up tennis shoes, sweat-drenched shirt, and ill-fitting pair of sweatpants as he made his way down the sidewalk, witnesses reported Tuesday that area jogger Dan Andreychuk was clearly out on his very first run of a plan to turn his life around.
A study analyzing factors such as blood pressure and cholesterol found that people with a BMI in the “overweight’ range are often otherwise medically healthy, calling BMI into question as an accurate metric for health.
JACKSON, NH—Drawing tens of thousands of residents out of their homes and businesses to stare upward into the sky, Hillary Clinton’s colossal, floating campaign headquarters reportedly moved into position over New Hampshire this morning, casting the entire state into darkness.
RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—Criticizing the amount of time and money wasted between a condemned individual’s sentencing and eventual execution, Saudi government officials expressed frustration Monday over the country’s costly three-hour appeals process for convicts facing the death penalty.
Oxford Dictionaries has responded to anthropologist Michael Oman-Reagan after the latter argued their definition of “rabid” was sexist due to its use of the example phrase “rabid feminist,” a term that Oxford has promised to revisit and potentially revise in their collection going forward.
SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.
SANTA CLARA, CA—Disappointing the thousands of fans in attendance as well as an estimated 100 million viewers watching at home, the Super Bowl 50 halftime show was marred Sunday by the stadium’s functioning sound system, sources confirmed.
SANTA CLARA, CA—Having suffered from intense pregame nerves just 30 minutes before the kickoff of Super Bowl 50, Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning confirmed Sunday that he felt much better after throwing up blood in the locker room.
CINCINNATI―Calling it a quick and simple way to achieve a “radiant, youthful glow,” health and beauty giant Olay announced the launch of its new line of pre-moisturized skin Wednesday.
FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.
The University of Melbourne is developing new electronic games to mentally stimulate orangutans, with the hope that zoo patrons will soon be able to play games with the apes too.
MANCHESTER, NH—Plunging into a downward spiral of despair and self-doubt after a poor showing in the Iowa caucuses, a demoralized Jeb Bush reportedly succumbed this week to New Hampshire’s ongoing heroin epidemic.
WILBRAHAM, MA—Saying she would be thrilled to babysit for a couple days, area grandmother Margie Callahan has offered to watch her two grandchildren while their parents spend a weekend desperately trying to revive their marriage, sources reported Monday.
SANTA CLARA, CA—Following his team’s 24-10 win in Super Bowl 50, Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning ended weeks of speculation surrounding his future by announcing Sunday that he has at least one more surgery in him.
NEW YORK—Slowly making their way out to midfield with the assistance of their owners, surviving members of the first Puppy Bowl championship team were honored at Animal Planet Stadium during Sunday’s Kitty Half-Time Show.