The Onion
- Sometimes, Area Woman Just Feels...
Saturday - 03/20/2010 - 01:00 AMBELMONT, NH—"It's not anybody’s fault, honestly," said 28-year-old Megan Slota, standing in her kitchen and holding a mug of tea with both hands. "Sometimes I just get like this where it's like I'm not, I guess, whatever.
More | Talk - Sports: Newest Bronco Brady Quinn: 'The Brody Qualls Era Has Begun'
Saturday - 03/20/2010 - 10:24 AMDENVER—In the first of what is expected to be a long series of gaffes with his new team, quarterback Brady Quinn bungled a statement to Broncos coaches, players, and fans Tuesday by mistakenly declaring that the Brody Qualls era had begun in Denver.
More | Talk - [video] YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A 'Good' Video
Friday - 03/19/2010 - 11:12 AMYouTube is offering a cash prize to the first user to upload a video with a shred of originality or artistic merit.
More | Talk - Sports: NBA Honors Latino Community By Using Spanish Word For 'The' On Jerseys
Friday - 03/19/2010 - 09:14 AMNews In Photos
More | Talk - [audio] ACLU Defends Nazis' Right To Burn ACLU Headquarters
Thursday - 03/18/2010 - 08:38 PMOnion Radio News - with Doyle Redland
More | Talk - Opinion: I'll Be Able To Get This Big Pot Of Chili Over To My Friend's House A Lot Quicker If I Put On My Roller Skates (by Rudy
Thursday - 03/18/2010 - 11:00 AMDone! A heaping, hearty 10-gallon pot of Rudy's Famous Five-Alarm Chili, simmered to perfection and all ready for the big party over at my friend...
More | Talk - What's Our Spring Cleaning Project?
Wednesday - 03/17/2010 - 11:11 AM
More | Talk - Sports: Musher Claims Free Agency Destroyed Chemistry Of Sled-Dog Team
Wednesday - 03/17/2010 - 10:53 AMWILLOW, AK—Though originally favored to win the 2010 Iditarod by a large margin, musher Stefan Anderson's team has put in a mediocre performance up to this point, a result Anderson blames on flashy high-priced acquisitions on the sled-dog free-agent market.
More | Talk - [audio] Exxon Paleontologists Call For Increased U.S. Fossil Production
Tuesday - 03/16/2010 - 08:03 PMOnion Radio News - with Doyle Redland
More | Talk - Opinion: I Wasn't Going To Buy This House Until I Saw The Realtor's Headshot On The Sign (by Sam Cone)
Tuesday - 03/16/2010 - 11:00 AMBuying a house is one of the biggest decisions a person can make, so when I set out to purchase my first home, I didn't take the matter lightly....
More | Talk
- In Focus: Pope Forgives Molested Children
Saturday - 03/20/2010 - 10:20 AMVATICAN CITY--Calling forgiveness "one of the highest virtues," the pope absolved priest-molested children of all sin.
More | Talk - Sometimes, Area Woman Just Feels...
Saturday - 03/20/2010 - 09:00 AMBELMONT, NH—"It's not anybody's fault, honestly," said 28-year-old Megan Slota, standing in her kitchen and holding a mug of tea with both hands. "Sometimes I just get like this where it's like I'm not, I guess, whatever.
More | Talk - Sports: Carmelo Anthony Called For Traveling Back In Time
Friday - 03/19/2010 - 09:00 AMHOUSTON—Nugget's forward Carmelo Anthony made no secret of his displeasure with game officials Monday night after being whistled for a rarely called traveling-through-time foul late in the fourth quarter of Denver's 125-123 loss to the Rockets.
More | Talk - Erectile Dysfunction Linked To Heart Disease Fatality
Friday - 03/19/2010 - 09:30 AMGerman researchers have found that erectile dysfunction is a strong indicator that a man will die from heart disease. What do you think?
More | Talk - [video] Hot New Relationship Book Warns Women: 'Wake Up! He's A Shapeshifter'
Thursday - 03/18/2010 - 11:00 AMBestselling author Craig Wheedon stops by Today NOW! to urge ladies to face the truth and dump the shapeshifter.
More | Talk - Report: Music Industry Made 18 In 2009
Thursday - 03/18/2010 - 10:00 AMNEW YORK—The Recording Industry Association of America announced Tuesday that the combined revenue brought in by Warner, Sony, EMI,...
More | Talk - Growing Number Of Americans Distrust Census
Wednesday - 03/17/2010 - 10:30 AMDespite the fact that the 2010 Census form is the shortest in recent history, some anti-government activists are refusing to answer any...
More | Talk - Obama To Revamp 'No Child Left Behind'
Wednesday - 03/17/2010 - 09:30 AMIn his weekly radio address, President Obama announced plans to overhaul the previous administration's education policy. What do you think?
More | Talk - Sports: Lazy Free Agent Wants To Try Out Over Phone
Tuesday - 03/16/2010 - 10:52 AMCHARLOTTE, NC—In an effort to avoid physical exertion, strenuous activity, and standing up, slothful free agent Hollis Thomas told several NFL general managers Friday that he would prefer to try out for their teams over the phone.
More | Talk - Obama Visits Kindergarten To Read Class 200-Page Memorandum On Health Care
Tuesday - 03/16/2010 - 10:04 AMMIAMI—As part of a new program designed to encourage reading, President Barack Obama visited a kindergarten class Monday to read the...
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- First Baby Of 2010 Finally Born
Saturday - 03/20/2010 - 12:00 PMNews In Photos
More | Talk - Sports: Entire Nation Picks Same Bracket
Friday - 03/19/2010 - 02:00 PMWASHINGTON—Citizens across the United States have selected the exact same teams to win every single game of the NCAA Tournament, handing in millions of completely identical brackets, college-basketball-pool organizers reported Thursday.
More | Talk - Local Neurotic To Undergo Invasive 32,000-Hour-Long Therapy Procedure
Friday - 03/19/2010 - 10:00 AMNEW YORK—Manhattanite Ted Friar, who has been battling chronic neuroses for more than 20 years, elected to undergo a highly invasive...
More | Talk - We Almost Go Inside The Mind Of Tim Burton But Then We Were Like 'Eh'
Friday - 03/19/2010 - 08:30 AM
More | Talk - Jackson Estate Signs 250 Million Deal With Sony
Thursday - 03/18/2010 - 12:12 PMSony Music will pay the estate of Michael Jackson up to $250 million for the right to continue selling his back catalog and release as many as 10 new...
More | Talk - Wise Council Of Elders Accuses Day Nurse Of Stealing Change
Thursday - 03/18/2010 - 09:00 AMGLENS FALLS, NY—"No, not the Oriental nurse, the colored one," Hillside Assisted Living Center elder Tom Stansell said before shutting his eyes and somberly bowing his head in silence for the next 35 minutes.
More | Talk - In Focus: Man Who's 116th Irish Proud Of His Irish Heritage
Wednesday - 03/17/2010 - 11:33 AMKENOSHA, WI--Despite being just 1/16th Irish, Dennis Kroeger, a 27-year-old marketing manager whose great-great grandmother hailed from County Cork, is fiercely proud of his Irish ancestry.
More | Talk - Budweiser American Lager Purchased At Tavern
Wednesday - 03/17/2010 - 10:00 AMST. LOUIS—An educated gentleman of discerning tastes entered a reputable public house Tuesday, whereupon he reportedly purchased a Budweiser...
More | Talk - Of Course Hair Stylist Remembers Gina
Tuesday - 03/16/2010 - 12:16 PMNews In Photos
More | Talk - Slideshow: New York City
Tuesday - 03/16/2010 - 08:30 AMSlideshow
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