I don't hate Amy Schumer. I don't even dislike Amy Schumer. I make it a point not to have genuine feelings about people I've never met. At most, I'm annoyed by Amy Schumer, who reminds me of Chelsea Handler, who I actually did hate before I adopted this new zen approach to being annoyed by women I'll never actually meet (to people who haven't met me and who think they hate me, I highly recommend the approach.