A--She appeals to the NFL's leering middle-aged male demographic. What are his responsibilities for the biggest NFL game of the year? C--Because after looking at sweaty football players since September, why not? A--Cris Collinsworth will throw his headphones down and storm out of the booth in disgust after a receiver runs a bad route. C--Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski will trade outfits before filing reports from inside the team locker rooms. C--Some locker room guy so if there's any problem the NFL can throw him under the bus. A--The one with cute dogs, strong horses and beer that will make you want to cry. B--The one with strong dogs, cute horses and beer that will make you want to cry some more. [...] Gisele is waiting for me outside the locker room, so who really is the loser here?