Dear Abby: Because I had a promiscuous past prior to getting married, it was understandable that my husband and I have gone through some rough patches. Good husbands build their partner’s self-esteem; they don’t undercut it the way yours is doing, because it is abusive. Since the counseling you had didn’t work, you must now decide whether you need to try again with a different therapist or talk to a lawyer. When he uses the bathroom in our home, he leaves a terrible mess. The last time he was here, it was obvious he had stepped in it and tracked it around as he left the room!