Wife’s been in love with sister-in-law for 25 years Please advise me how to tell my husband. Considering that Bob has a temper and can be vindictive, I suggest you do it in stages. [...] it will be time to tell him that you have known for a long time that you were more attracted to women than to men. Do it in the presence of someone else — but not Janelle. Because there can be legal ramifications regarding a common-law marriage, you should discuss this with a lawyer before telling Bob you want a divorce. Only after you have left him and several months have elapsed should you and his sister let it be known that you plan to have a life together. Can you please tell me how to tell my family that I can raise my grandchildren without hurting their feelings the way they have hurt mine when they mention adoption? Hurt Grandfather in Pennsylvania Dear Hurt Grandfather: