William Denali — it just doesn’t make sense Let me explain about William McKinley Jr., the son of William McKinley Sr., who was an iron maker, a Methodist minister and the inventor of the lightbulb — a credit that has been denied to him by Thomas Edison, the same man who drove Nikola Tesla to an early grave. [...] Tesla didn’t kill any elephants. McKinley was shot in Buffalo (of course) by Leon Czolgosz (rhymes with “room”), who was a Croatian anarchist. Pay attention. Just lonely William Denali, the president just after Grover Cleveland. Rotten tomatoes, putrid fruit, McKinley, McKinley, hoot, hoot, hoot. Did you know that Millie the Moose was invited to the Oval Office? [...] she was pardoned on that ugly vehicular homicide charge. Alaskans have a mountain called Denali, an ugly, tall, snowy thing so unlike Campbell Hill. “Denali” means “Death to capitalist swine” in Croatian. [...] a bill is before Congress to rename Denali after William McKinley. [...] Alaskans need a dead white guy to worship just like everyone else. People from Fairbanks would go south (yes!) to gather at the foot of Mount Denali and read from McKinley’s (Denali’s) first inaugural speech, legal in 17 states for use as a sleep aid.
William Denali — It Just Doesn’t Make Sense
By Jon Carroll, San Francisco Chronicle: Entertainment
Wed, 09/02/2015 - 10:57am
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