1. Be at the lowest point in your life. This one's important because it adds character. You will know when you're at your lowest point in your life because you will be emptying your retirement account from the day job you briefly had back when you had common sense and wanted a "stable" "life." You won't know this yet, but having a retirement account you once emptied will feel nostalgic when you can't afford cheese at Trader Joe's.

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