Dear Amy: My husband will be turning 80 next year and I suggested to my daughter that, since everyone in our family loves Disney, the 10 of us should spend the week of his birthday in Orlando. (My husband’s birthday falls during a holiday week, and the children are not in school.) She said she thought this was a fun idea, but now she wants to go on a cruise, instead. Our daughter is well aware that my husband does not wish to go on a cruise. So she and her family have planned a week-long cruise for that week, which means they won’t be with us for the birthday or any part of that holiday week. I am very hurt by their decision and find that this is bringing up a long list of past hurts that I have never verbalized. It’s pretty much all I think about. In your opinion, should I tell her how hurt I am, or should I let it go? — Sad Mother and Grandmother Dear Sad: Recently I was talking with another parent who has adult children (also with grandchildren), and she offered that elder parents should never correct adult children.

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