Dear Amy: I have an extremely severe food allergy. I carry an EpiPen; I’ve been hospitalized multiple times because of exposure to this allergen. My husband explained this to his parents when we started dating. Since then, most meals we have shared at their house have had very limited options for me. They manage to find a way to add the ingredient I’m allergic to, to almost everything. One time they made a point to make a special plate containing this allergen, and then passed it around, while my mother-in-law announced, “I would have liked to have added it directly to the salad, but SOMEBODY has problems with it!” I literally held my breath as it went in front of me, for fear I would have contact with it. That was extremely dangerous for me.