Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which an overexcited fairy flaps her wings over all of America and gently drops a tiny poop on each of your heads. This week, all the tabloids are Platonic ideals of garbage, and together we unravel the mystery of the disappearing Kardashian pets, the cup size of Ariana Grande's Future Boobs, and the contemporary analogue of Schrodinger's cat (how Jennifer Aniston can be simultaneously single and planning her wedding and furious at a third party—a sexy hurricane named Odile).Read more...