English people invented going to the seaside for fun in the 19th century. Clearly, they were out of their minds. If this summer has taught me nothing else, it's that the beach is not for humans. It's the ultimate hostile environment, yet we continue to collectively insist it's a paradise that will magically turn us into relaxed, hot-bodied beauties. I grew up in the U.K., where there's really no such thing as beach weather.