Comment on Ask Amy: A friend wants to impose “bro code”

Amy Dickinson, Denver Post
Tue, 04/30/2024 - 3:30am

Ask Amy: A friend wants to impose “bro code”

Dear Amy: I need to resolve an issue concerning my close friend, “Brian” and my ex-girlfriend. The three of us used to socialize together when my ex and I were still a couple. Brian told me that he has not seen my former girlfriend after our breakup except once, accidentally. However, a couple of days ago Brian volunteered to me that he has recently been patronizing the restaurant where my ex used to work (my understanding was that she no longer worked there, but a reliable source told me that she does indeed still work there). It is not the type of restaurant that Brian would frequent because of his limited choices of cuisine. I suspect that the only reason he would go there is because he always liked her and that she works there. I realize that I cannot expect to impose my will on who Brian chooses to associate with, but it makes me very uncomfortable that it appears that he is being untruthful. I really don’t want to end my friendship, but now I can’t trust him. Should I confront him, or should I just end my friendship, which is something I really don’t want to do? If Brian wanted to have some type of relationship with my former girlfriend and if he was honest about that, then my feelings about this might have been different. I am confused and hurt. Related Articles Ask Amy | Ask Amy: A no-cost CPA earns some penalties Ask Amy | Ask Amy: Friends drift apart over religion Ask Amy | Ask Amy: Siblings’ estrangement is a tangle over money Ask Amy | Ask Amy: Sex offender lives in the neighborhood Ask Amy | Ask Amy: Daughter pays for mother’s abusive behavior Can you offer some advice? — K Dear K: You state that you might be fine with “Brian” spending time with your former girlfriend, but I think it’s important that you simply admit to yourself that you’re feeling a little bit lost and hurt.

 

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