The Onion Apologizes, Falls Back On 'procedures'

If the annual playoff referendum on Nikola Jokic’s defense has already commenced, Jokic himself might have put an amusing stop to it during the first round. As self-deprecating as ever, he didn’t mince words when asked how he can guard Lakers center Anthony Davis better after a barrage of buckets forced Michael Malone to cross-match, hiding Jokic on a lesser scoring threat in Game 2. “He’s an offensive monster, and defensive, too,” Jokic said.

Celebrated Denver chef Dana Rodriguez has decided to close one of her restaurants. Cantina Loca, at 2890 Zuni St., opened in January 2022 and was billed as Rodriguez’s first solo restaurant project. It specialized in tacos, tequila and mezcal. As of Thursday, it is closed. Cantina Loca is for sale with the intent to transfer the lease to the buyer, per a spokesperson. In a statement to The Denver Post, Rodriguez cited the challenging post-pandemic climate as the reason for the closure. Related Articles Restaurants, Food and Drink | Two new pizza shops opening in Denver, the “No.

DETROIT — The Latest on the first round of the NFL draft (all times local): How to watch the 2024 NFL Draft The Chicago Bears go on the clock with the NFL draft’s first pick shortly after 7 p.m. Thursday, to be followed by the rest of the first round. Rounds 2 and 3 will air Friday night, and Rounds 4-7 take place Saturday. Television: ABC, ESPN, ESPN Deportes, NFL Network Streaming: ESPN+, NFL+, YouTube TV, Hulu+ Live TV, Fubo TV and Sling TV ___ First round NFL draft order 1.

Five people were arrested on suspicion of stealing $30,000 worth of merchandise from stores in Fort Collins on Tuesday, according to the Fort Collins Police Department. Police received a report on Tuesday night that four suspects had allegedly stolen thousands of dollars worth of merchandise from the fragrance department of an Ulta Beauty Supply store in Fort Collins. A Larimer County Sheriff’s Office Deputy later stopped a car that was traveling southbound on Interstate 25 and matched the description of the suspects’ vehicle.

Eight Colorado hotels won the new Michelin Keys on Wednesday, according to the Michelin Key hotel guide. Each of these Colorado hotels received one Michelin Key. Three of the winning hotels are in Denver — the Clayton Hotel and Members Club, Four Seasons Denver and the Crawford Hotel. Three hotels in Aspen — Hotel Jerome, part of the Auberge Resorts Collection, the Little Nell and Mollie Aspen — and two in Vail — Four Seasons Vail and Sonnenalp Hotel — were also awarded the distinction. “Michelin is a prestigious organization and being one of only eight hotels in Colorado to receive a Key is a great honor,” Thierry Kennel, Four Seasons Hotel Denver regional vice president and general manager, said. According to Michelin, hotels with One Michelin Key offer a very special stay.

Wildlife officials said they will not remove a gray wolf potentially connected to recent livestock killings, despite requests from stockgrowers. Two of the gray wolves reintroduced to Colorado’s Grand County in December — including one suspected in recent depredations — are likely “denning” and in the breeding process, Colorado Parks and Wildlife officials said in a letter to the Middle Park Stockgrowers Board Tuesday.