Projecting Orioles Opening Day Roster

[Above: The last time Trump got a medal that DIDN'T include cheating at his own golf course, it was from the Saudis. -- eds.] The first Congressional Gold Medal was struck in 1776 as a way of saying thanks to George Washington. Since then, the medal has been awarded just 184 times to hallowed figures including Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks, Nelson Mandela, and the Dalai Lama.

The disgraced former Republican Congressman, now CEO of Truth Social, Devin Nunes joined Real America's Voice. He claimed there's a massive conspiracy against Trump's media site, causing the stock to plummet. It can't be that the site is losing millions of dollars while not having the kind of engagement a thriving social media site needs to survive.

Don't you love it when a couple of millionaire Fox News hosts weigh in on the homeless situation as if they are experts on the issue? Yeah, me neither. But that's what Jesse Watters and Jeanine Pirro did, according to Media Matters. "A lot of these people, when they're asked and given a home, they don't want to go into the home," Watters insisted.

Rep. Rich McCormick (R-GA) and Rep. Beth Van Duyne (R-TX) were named in McCormick's divorce papers after alleged hanky panky. Yet another scandal involving Republicans and sex. At least this time it didn't involve a ménage à trois and all the tittering that inspired. Source: Daily Mail After 12 years of marriage and less than two years into his congressional career, Georgia Republican Rep.

It's now on record that controversial Colorado GOP Rep. Lauren Boebert doesn't think Von Snoozleshitpants has been sleeping in court (he's fallen asleep daily in front of the jurors and Judge Juan Merchan) because, in actuality, the pussy grabber was "praying." But if he wasn't praying, that's OK because he looks "pretty while he sleeps." Welp, does Donald Farticus smell pretty, too, Rep.

The shit hit the fan when Chaos Crew member Marjorie Taylor Greene insulted Texas Democrat Jasmine Crockett for wearing "false eyelashes," as if the Georgia Sasquatch has room to talk about anyone's appearance. Insults were lobbed back and forth, and Ocasio-Cortez demanded an apology from Klan Mom Marge. That wasn't going to happen (narcissists never apologize unless they're desperate and it's rehearsed), but MTG did agree to have her words stricken from the record. "Oh, girl," AOC said.