COLUMBIA, MD—In a purely self-interested move that is certain to set the tone for the next 18 years, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Rebecca McBride is already off to a bad start as a mother after requesting an epidural during the delivery of her first child. According to accounts, McBride took the easy way out by asking doctors to administer a pain reliever minutes before going into active labor with her son, proving that she simply isn’t cut out for the challenges of motherhood.